Journey of Honor A love story Read online

  Copyright

  Journey of Honor: A Love Story

  By Jaclyn M. Hawkes

  Copyright © August 2010 Jaclyn M. Hawkes

  All rights reserved.

  Published and distributed by Spirit Dance Books. 855-648-5559

  Spiritdancebooks.com

  Cover design by Steve Gray

  No part of this book may be reproduced in any form whatsoever, whether by graphic, visual, electronic, filming, microfilming, tape recording, or any other means, without written permission of the author and Spirit Dance Books, except in the case of brief passages embodied in critical reviews and articles, where the title, author, and ISBN accompany such review or article. All opinions expressed herein are that of the author.

  Print Edition ISBN-13: 987-1-59936-059-1

  Print Edition LCCN: 2010931135

  Dedication

  This book is dedicated to courageous pioneers everywhere, both past and present. Who quietly do whatever it takes. It’s also dedicated to my sweet, hard working sister-in-law from Holland. She’s the best thing that ever happened to my dorky brother and keeps him guessing with her linguistic twists. And, of course, this book is dedicated to my good husband. He makes me laugh, hugs me when I cry, and is the love of my life.

  Table of Contents

  Copyright

  Dedication

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  About the Author

  Chapter 1

  Waycross Georgia 1844

  Trace was still up and sitting in front of the fire thinking when his father, William, known locally as Doc Grayson, came back after spending the evening delivering a baby. He stowed his medical bag and joined Trace before the fire with a long sigh of contentment. “Perfect way to end a day. Meeting a brand new little spirit straight from heaven.” His deep southern drawl fit his quiet, steady demeanor like a glove.

  Trace looked up at him, but said nothing, still lost in his own thoughts. He loved his father dearly, but tonight there was restlessness upon him. Even hearing about the successful delivery couldn’t shake it, in spite of the fact that he had spent years working to become a doctor himself. This day had been coming for a while now. He had known that eventually he would leave to make his own way in the world, but he didn’t necessarily want it to be to avoid a girl. He had only been home from school in Pennsylvania for two days, but already he was fed up with the spoiled and obnoxious young daughter of their well-to-do plantation owner neighbor.

  After several minutes of silence, Trace began. “Lucretia Tapp was here again today.”

  William nodded, “Was she rude to Mose again?”

  Trace gave a snort of disgust. “When has she ever not been rude to Mose? She’s treated him badly from the day you adopted him when we were seven. It was her own father who had beaten him unconscious, remember? He passed on his bigotry perfectly. She hates all blacks on sight.” He paused and added Bitterly, “She hates them, but she could never have the life she has without their labor.”

  His father shook his head sadly. “This whole slavery issue will end someday. In the not too distant future I hope. In the mean time, I believe that it will be worse than ever. We southerners are a hard headed lot. I’m afraid you’re not going to change her or her father’s way of thinking.”

  Trace turned to him. “I don’t want to change her. I just don’t want anything to do with her at all. With either of them. What does she want with me anyway? She knows how I feel about slavery. We’re absolute opposites. And she’s sixteen. Why doesn’t she set her heart on one of the men around here who would cow to her father and be willing to take over the plantation someday? There are certainly enough who would be willing to put up with her to have Papa’s money waiting in the wings.”

  After considering this for a moment or two, William said, “You’ve hit it head on, Trace. You’re the only one who is stronger than her father. That’s why she admires you. Even though she’s…” He hesitated. “Even though she doesn’t seem to have much character, she respects yours.”

  Almost bitterly, Trace went on. “She didn’t act like she respected me much today. She was all but throwing herself at me, and when I wasn’t having any of it, she threatened to tell her father I had behaved inappropriately so he would insist I make an honest woman of her.” He shuddered. “Can you imagine waking up beside her for the rest of my life?” He finally grinned across at his father. “I’d have to resort to drinking if I were stuck like that.”

  William chuckled. “You would never resort to drinking, so you’d best not marry her.” After another pause, he went on. “That being said, I’d hate for you to have to face Henry Tapp’s shotgun because of Lucretia’s lies. Being reasonable isn’t one of his strong points.”

  “No, it isn’t.” Trace looked into the flames for a time. Finally, he said, “Mose is miserable here now. Losing Callie has hit him hard. He hasn’t smiled once since I’ve been back from school.”

  William rubbed his temple. “It truly was a horrible time. She was in labor for more than two days. I’ve never wished for greater medical knowledge in my life.”

  Quietly Trace replied, “The fact that it was her master’s child she died trying to deliver made it worse than ever. Mose is a wonderful, Christian man, but I think he honestly struggles not to hate Tapp for that. I can hardly blame him. In his shoes, I’d feel the same way.”

  William didn’t answer, but the sad look he gave Trace made him think that his father knew where he was going with all this. Finally, Trace asked, “How have you done it all these years, Pa? How do you patiently keep patching up humans that another human being has beaten or starved or abused without becoming hopelessly bitter?”

  His father looked over at him with the understanding of years in his eyes. “It’s what I do, Trace. I am a healer. I could no more not take care of people that need help than fly. What’s more, it’s what you do as well. You are a physician to your soul. You just have enough of your mother’s fire to want to fight back more than I ever did. And maybe that’s a good thing.

  “In fact, I’m sure it is. This world needs good men who are willing to take a stand for what’s right. It will be men like you who finally bring about the changes that are necessary to make the world a safer and happier place for those less fortunate. In a way, I envy your passion. All these years I have been content to be the best doctor that I could and leave the causes to others. I probably should have done more standing up for what is right in my lifetime.”

  Trace shook his head. “You have always worked to help people, Pa. You need have no regrets. But I’m afraid I’m not like you. I can’t stand by and watch anymore. I want to go far enough away from all of this that I never hear the word slavery again in my life.”

  Meeting his son’s eyes, William said, “Do what you have to do, Trace, but don’t be fooled into believing that there isn’t cruelty and bigotry anywhere you might go. If it isn’t slavery, it may be something else just as bad. I’m afraid the devil controls the hearts of some men, no matter where they live or what color they are.”

  “I’m sure you’re right, but right here and now I feel like I should go. Maybe someday I’ll come back, but you’re good for another thirty years here, and this community doesn’t need more than one doctor. In the meantime, I need to go earn the money to finish the last year of
school. I’m sure Mose wants to go away as well. Avoiding Lucretia is just a good excuse I suppose.”

  William stared into the flames of the fire until he finally said, “I’ll miss you, Trace. Even though you’re only twenty years old, you’re already more educated and experienced than most of the doctors in this country. You’ve been the best son and medical apprentice I could have ever asked for, and I’ve always been proud of you. I’m sure that I always will be.

  “Your mother will be sad as well. We’ll miss both of you this time if Mose goes with you, but you know what you need to do, and I wouldn’t want to stop you. You have your whole life ahead of you, and much that needs to be experienced. Go if you must, but always remember that you have great potential. I know you will always be honorable and good. Just don’t let life’s ups and downs make you forget that you are also great. Great men are hard to come by.”

  St. Joseph, Missouri, July 10, 1848

  Trace Grayson stepped out of the Robidoux Hotel, where he’d met with his friend and now wagon master John Sykes and looked around for Mose. He was supposed to be here somewhere, but so far… Trace’s train of thought was interrupted by the appearance of the most striking young woman he had ever seen. It wasn’t just that she was beautiful, graceful, and well dressed. There was something in her bearing that, combined with the rest made her step onto the wooden boardwalk like she was the queen of all America.

  She wasn’t tall, but seemed to be because of her almost regal bearing. Her blonde hair was done up somehow, and only cascades of curls could be seen under the hat that matched her tan traveling suit. Even in just drab tan, she couldn’t help but appear colorful and vibrant. Trace watched her walk toward him down the boardwalk,—he and all the rest of the people within sight of her. He almost shook himself to focus on what he was supposed to be doing. For just a moment he couldn’t remember what that was exactly.

  Mose. He was looking for Mose. They’d been waiting for several precious days to scrape up enough wagons to begin heading west on the trail to California, and John had just barely told him he believed he had finally gotten the twenty wagon minimum he’d been seeking to mollify the army. Trace and Mose had already been to California and back once this year and were now waiting to leave again with six more wagons of goods of their own to be taken and sold in the territories far to the west.

  They’d made better money with every trip they’d taken across the trail in the last three years, and Trace had somewhat set his medical goals aside to enjoy being in business for himself. Being his own boss had done something for him. He was more confident now than he’d ever been after knowing he could be successful in whatever he faced from coast to coast. This was the first time they’d tried two trips in one year, but they thought it was realistically possible if they could just get on the trail. Supposedly, whoever John had found was in the same hurry to leave and could be ready first thing in the morning; which was vital if they were to make it safely through the mountains in the west before the winter snows.

  Thinking back on the beautiful girl he’d just seen, he almost wished that they were still waiting. He’d never had a girl affect him like that. He’d almost wanted to walk right up to her and introduce himself and ask her to come west with them on the spot. He smiled at himself, a little embarrassed at the whole idea. He was still smiling when Mose rounded the corner from the blacksmith shop in front of him.

  Mose looked at his expression and asked, “What are you so all fired happy about?”

  Trace shook his head and grinned at him. “I saw a girl.” He chuckled and admitted to his friend, “I almost asked her to marry me right there on the boardwalk. The only thing that stopped me was knowing that you needed me to make it across all those miles of trail. Am I loyal or what?”

  Mose laughed. “Must have been some girl. To test your loyalty and all.”

  Still feeling a little silly because the smile was stuck on his face, Trace said, “She was. Blonde, slim and graceful. With these eyes! Blue so bright I could see them clear down the boardwalk. And walks like royalty.”

  Glancing sideways at him, Mose laughed again. “Tarnation, Trace. This really must be some girl. I can’t wait to see the female who has this kind of effect on an old lone wolf like you.”

  “I’m not a lone wolf. I’ve just never found the right one.” He laughed at himself and brushed the whole situation off. “I’ll probably never see her again. We’ll be long gone in the morning. But, much as we’ve wanted to leave, I almost wish we were still delayed.”

  Sobering, Mose replied, “If this is truly unsettling, other drivers can be found, man. You can stay here and we’ll take the wagons across without you.”

  “What, and miss all the fun? Not a chance! I wouldn’t miss all the dust and mud and lightning and flood swollen rivers and…”

  “All right, all right. I get the idea. Enough of the palaver. You’re going to make me decide not to go. Did Sykes have any news?”

  Trace slapped his forehead. “I completely forgot to tell you. He got the last wagon. Some Dutch people. An older couple and their granddaughter in fact. He said they were Mormons. We’re leaving at first light tomorrow. I’m surprised John was willing to take a woman and child along, but he said they wanted to go this year enough to pay him to let them come along. There are no other trains going this late, so they were as desperate as we are.

  “John said they seemed to be steady and dependable. The Mormons are supposedly a little weird, but I hear they’re pretty quiet-living. At least we won’t have to deal with any more rannies like the other teamsters who came on day before yesterday. Those boys are trouble.”

  Shaking his head again, Mose gave him a hard time. “You’ve clean lost your mind, boy. The news we’ve been waiting for and you almost forget to mention it. I wish I could have seen this girl. She must have had some amazing love potion or something.”

  Trace waved a gloved hand. “Naw. Give me a long stretch of nothing but dust and heat and my mind will come right back. I’ll be fine.”

  They finished their last minute errands, and picked up the mule team Mose had left at the blacksmith’s to be shoed, and headed back to the rendezvous spot on the riverbank near the ferry. After rounding up their other five drivers, they cautioned them to be ready to roll at dawn. Then the two of them settled in to make dinner and get bedded down early. Tomorrow would be a big day.

  Just before dark, another big Conestoga wagon rolled up and Trace and Mose watched the husband begin to unhitch. They went over to the wagon to say hello and lend a hand. Trace was just unbuckling the harness on the far mule when he heard the sound of women’s voices. Turning, he looked toward the back of the wagon where there were two women walking toward him.

  It was her. It took him a minute or two to get his mind to understand that the girl he’d seen was the granddaughter of the Dutch couple who would be traveling with them. He looked up and caught Mose’s eye and nodded at the girl, and then almost laughed out loud when Mose made a perfect O with his lips. Their own personal brand of communication without speaking was interrupted by the wagon master approaching.

  He pulled Trace and Mose along to the couple and the girl. “Oh, good. I see that you’ve already met.” He turned to the Dutch man. “Josiah, these are the two young men who I was telling you about. Trace Grayson and Mose Brown. They and their men are the ones you’re going to want to travel near. Or my own drivers. They’re much more respectable types than the other teamsters. The other ones aren’t going to be all that pleasant for your women folk I’m afraid. Stick near these two and you’ll be fine.” Turning back towards Trace and Mose he said, “You two keep an eye out for them, will you?”

  Grinning, Mose said, “Shore, we’ll keep an eye out for them Sykes, but we’ve only met Josiah here. We haven’t had the pleasure of meeting the women.”

  Trace was still a little thunderstruck about traveling with the girl, but he stepped forward and took the women’s hands smoothly as Josiah introduced them with a th
ick Dutch accent. “This is my wife Petja VanKomen and my granddaughter Giselle VanKomen. They are goot women and we are grateful to have some respectable men to travel with. Bedankt. Thank you.”

  “It will be our pleasure I’m sure, sir.” Trace met Giselle’s eyes. “We’ve never had the good fortune of traveling with such lovelyladies.” He could almost swear that she wanted to roll her eyes when he said it and he grinned at her. “Welcome aboard.”

  “Thank you.” Her accent was milder than her grandfather’s and her hand shook his honestly without any of the flirtatiousness women often used to greet him with. “Tell me, are you Mr. Grayson or Mr. Brown?”

  “Grayson. Please, call me Trace. There is certainly no need to stand on ceremony in a wagon train. And this is my brother, Mose Brown.” She raised her eyebrows as she tipped her head to take in Mose standing beside him, black and three inches over Trace’s six foot one. Trace grinned again and said, “He’s adopted.”

  She laughed a pretty laugh, filled with sincere humor, as she moved to take Mose’s hand. “So I see. It’s nice to meet you, Mr. Brown.”

  He cleared his throat. “You’d best call me Mose, ma’am. Trace is right, and if you call me Mr. Brown I won’t have any idea who you’re talking to.” He flashed her a wide smile that gleamed white against his dark chocolate skin. “You need anything, you just holler. We’ll hep you right out.”

  “Thank you. I may do just that. I’m afraid I’m new to this wagon train travel. I have a great deal to learn.”

  Josiah put his arm around her. “You’ll do just fine, Elle. You always do. I’m sure you’ll learn fast.”

  After the brief introduction, Trace, Mose and John went back to their own respective camps. Once out of hearing of their Dutch neighbors, Mose turned to look at Trace with a grin. “You had enough of your mind to remember your name back there. I’m right proud of you, Trace. Now if you can just remember how to harness and drive a team, we may be okay this trip.”